i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had to coat check the pizza.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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