It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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