i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
