So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
