Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
