Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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