She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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