Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
