can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
