Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So many bounce houses so little time
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Shame - the story of my life.
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