Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
