Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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