My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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