JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
