roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
