we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
