He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Couch. On fire.
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