and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize