dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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