I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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