He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
