...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
