I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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