Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
