I've blown a few things in my day
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
