Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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