I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
