I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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