is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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