worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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