i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
