Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
