That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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