Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
