it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
