How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
