He kissed a someone with a penis
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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