The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
