Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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