We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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