Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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