guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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