she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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