Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
