You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
