Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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