I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
did you just send me my own nude
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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