You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
