i would punch a child for taco bell
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
