no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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