My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
