We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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