i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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