He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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