That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There's always time for handjobs
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
