i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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