My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
