Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
