When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
