member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
