She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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