I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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