Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
