my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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