Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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