I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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