There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I deserve this hangover.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize