apparently the secret to your success is patron
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
