Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
