and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
